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How to write your own Personal History
'Grandma & Grandpa, Tell Me Your Story'
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How to write your own Personal History
'Grandma & Grandpa, Tell Me Your Story'
Sell the Cow
The year was 1939, the time of the San Francisco Treasure
Island World's Fair. Very few people in our Yakima Valley, Washington, town of 2000 made the
trip. For most folks, it was simply out of reach.
Every generation laughs at the old fashions but religiously follow the new. --Henry David Thoreau
It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken away from you.
If a teacher influences but one, his influence never stops.
Memory is the power to gather roses in the winter.
Outlawing all atomic weapons could be a magnificent gesture. However, it should be remembered
that Gettysburg had a local ordinance forbidding the discharge of firearms. --Homer D. King
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views.
When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them. --Mark Twain
The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at
a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man. --G. K. Chesterton
We do not understand:
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop
there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down
on a hot stove-lid again--and that is well, but also she will never sit down on a cold one
anymore. --Mark Twain
What a man knows at fifty that he did not know at twenty is, for the most part, incommunicable.
The knowledge he has acquired with age is not the knowledge of formulas, or forms of words,
but of people, places, actions--a knowledge gained not by words but by touch, sight, sound,
victories, failures, sleeplessness, devotions, love--the human experiences and emotions of
this earth and of oneself and other men; and perhaps, too, a little faith, a little reverence
for things one cannot see. --Adlai Stevenson
You never know when someone may catch a dream from you.
Memories lift us and float us along like multi-colored balloons.
Rules for Gardeners:
Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have
roses. –Alphonse Karr
A house with daffodils in it is a house lit up. Whether or not the sun be shining outside.
Daffodils in a green bowl -- and let it snow if it will. --A. A. Milne
Life is a patchwork of memories and dreams.
A smile increases your face value.
Nobody roots for Goliath. –Wilt Chamberlain.
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. --Benjamin Disraeli
Be the first to say what is self-evident, and you are immortal. --M. Ebner Eschenbach
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. --Albert Einstein
Know thyself? If I knew myself, I'd run away. --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I always get the better when I argue alone. --Oliver Goldsmith
Give us the luxuries of life and we will dispense with the necessities. --Oliver Wendell Holmes
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. --Bob Hope
Middle Age is when your age starts to show around your middle. --Bob Hope
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt. --Kin Hubbard
It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong. --Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused. --Shirley Maclaine
Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. --Groucho Marx
A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one. --J.Pierpoint Morgan
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. --Mark Russell
An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived. --Herbert Samuel
The tendency of an event to occur varies inversely with one's preparation for it. --David Searles
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. --Lilly Tomlin
Ah! Don't say that you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that
I must be wrong. –Oscar Wilde
I couldn't help it. I can resist everything except temptation. --Oscar Wilde, from Lady Windermere's Fan
We have two ends with a common link,
The words listen and silent are both constructed of the same letters.
Warning label on Kenner Products’ Batman costume: “Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.”
A hungry mountain lion came out of the hills, attacked a bull and killed it. As it feasted
on its kill, the lion paused from time to time to roar in triumph. A hunter in the area heard
the commotion, found the lion and shot him dead.....The moral of the story is: When you’re full
of bull, keep your mouth shut.
A young girl visited a farm one day and wanted to buy a large watermelon. “That’s three dollars,”
said the farmer. “I’ve only got 30 cents,” said the young girl. The farmer pointed
to a very small watermelon in the field and said, “How about that one?” “Okay, I’ll take
it,” said the girl. “But leave it on the vine. I’ll be back for it in a month.”
Oh, that I was where I would be,
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you. ----A Whitney Brown
It is easier to stay out than get out. --Mark Twain
I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. --Marshall McLuhan
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. --Carl Zwanzig
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor
Day Weekend. --Doug Larson
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out. --Steven Wright
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? --Woody Allen
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. --Herbert Henry Asquith
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. --Hubert Humphrey
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. --Jerome K. Jerome
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. --Ludwig Erhard
Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions. --Robert A. Humphrey
Antonym, n.: The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.
Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. --James Magary
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. --Will Rogers
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one
marked Brightness, but it doesn't work. --Gallagher
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you
the rest of the day.
Even if you’re on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. --Will Rogers
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. --Will Rogers
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. --Mark Twain
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough. --Albert Einstein
If you cannot convince them, confuse them. --Harry S. Truman
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. --Lawrence J. Peter
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. --Mark Twain
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. --Steven Wright
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. --Thomas Edison
Mustard's no good without roast beef. --Chico Marx
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. --Mark Twain
Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. --Ron Nesen
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. --Peter de Vries
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. --Abraham Lincoln
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --Euripides
Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done. --Ernie Kovacs
The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. --James B. Cabell
The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it. --Glaser and Way
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. --Lily Tomlin
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --Dr. Who
Too much of a good thing is wonderful. --Mae West
You can observe a lot by just watching. --Berra's Law
You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in. --Arlo Guthrie
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? --Lily Tomlin
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. --James Thurber
The reverse side also has a reverse side. --Japanese proverb
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. --Will Rogers
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you
of someone else. --Ogden Nash
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried. --Mae West
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts. --Albert Einstein
Imagination is more important than knowledge. --Albert Einstein
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. --Alfred Adler
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed
to be doing at the moment. --Robert Benchley
And remember, no matter where you go, there you are. --Buckaroo Banzai
All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income. --Samuel Butler
Efficiency is intelligent laziness. David Dunham
Never confuse motion with action. ---Ben Franklin
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make
it again. --F. P. Jones
Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy. --Janet Long
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. --Abraham Maslow
In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain. --Pliny the Elder
Life is too important to take seriously. --Corky Siegel
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten. --B. F. Skinner
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. --Mark Twain
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going. --Professor Irwin Corey
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist. --Gandhi
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. --Steven Wright
Make every day a masterpiece.
No amount of planning can ever replace dumb luck!
The Adams family rented a little house on the
edge of town for $15 a month. Odd jobs were not plentiful, but with the help of neighbors,
Mr. Adams was able to keep food on the table for his wife and three kids. He had an old trap
of a car to get around in and a cow to provide milk for his children.
Then came the World's Fair, 750 miles away.
One morning a neighbor spotted the Adams family loaded in the car,
with an assortment of luggage strapped to the running board. "Where are you headed, John?"
he asked. "To the Fair!" Mr.Adams replied. The neighbor was dumbfounded. Later, he learned that Mr. Adams had sold the cow to pay
for the trip. Folks almost exploded--amazed at such irresponsibility.
Many times since then, my wife and I had recalled the incident. But strangely,
we have come to view it in a different light. I am sure the Adams children never forgot the years of austerity,
but above all those memories will be one: "We went to the Fair!"
Not long ago, my wife and I were reconsidering a trip that we often had wished
we could take. Each time, we had dismissed the idea because we couldn't afford it. But this time I said,
"Honey, let's just sell the cow and go."
And we did.---S. Edward Tesh in The Lookout reprinted in Readers Digest April 1994
Joy--until we've faced sorrow.
Faith--until it is tested.
Peace--until faced with conflict.
Trust--until we are betrayed.
Love--until it is lost.
Hope--until it is confronted with doubts.
If it’s pretty - plant it.
If it’s measly - mulch it.
If it wilts - water it.
If it grows - prune it.
If it’s a weed - spray it.
If it’s a bug - swat it.
If it tastes good - pick it.
If it flowers - flaunt it.
With one we sit, with one we think,
Success depends on what we use --
Heads we win, tails we lose.
Then I would be where I am not.
But where I am there I must be,
And where I would be, I cannot.
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